in limbo
i seem to be lost and have no idea where i’m going… i am exhausted today for some reason and even the thought of working out makes me sleepy… i was sick on saturday so i didn’t go to my spin class like i had planned - nothing is going right… the numbers on the scale keep going up and that’s not good either so i really need to do something and do something soon…
i need to get back to working out, for one thing - that is the major hurdle that i must i get past and the rest will be easy… i have toyed w/not doing WW anymore and maybe just count calories but then i’d still be keeping track of what i’m eating and i think i need a break… this book i am reading says that when you diet, you’re focusing on everything else but what your body is really saying… it will tell you when its hungry and when its full and when its craving something… dieting also causes you to label things as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ or ‘fattening’ etc. which can have negative impact… but do i really want to stop keeping track of things? i don’t know but i need something - i need some sort of guidance that i can follow because clearly, i keep losing interest…
the book also talks about how dieting can force some people to not love themselves as they are… i’m not saying that being overweight is healthy but we all know that women tend to see themselves a lot bigger than they really are (me included)… are we that guilty of always wanting to be better, thinner, and more like “so and so”? will we be that much happier 10 pounds lighter? it makes me wonder sometimes… one thought i had - what if i stopped over analyzing food/exercise and just lived my life for once? what if i ate reasonable meals, got in my exercise and indulged once in a while? if i’m meant to be this size/shape forever, then so be it… i mean, who am i trying to please? and what’s the benefit to making myself feel terrible everytime the scale says a high number OR if i’m over my points? nothing… life should be more than that, shouldn’t it? i cant’ be the only one that thinks this way, right?
i’m also in the process of starting a new blog since this one feels outdated for some reason… as soon as i know what my plan of attack is going to be, i will give you the new address… i feel the need to change everything when i’m starting over, fresh starts are good…
happy monday…